I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
