i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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