How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Randomize
