may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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