She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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