Is it because I queefed?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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