Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
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I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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