I'm really into asian looking animals
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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