Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
