Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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