I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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