I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
