Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize