belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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