So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
