I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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