My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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