Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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