hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
