I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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