So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
What happened to fro yo and sex?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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