My first STD was from a foam party
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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