stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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