a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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