Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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