she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
