I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize