just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
3 2 1 whiskey
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
