"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
