um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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