You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
