just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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