apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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