I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
