Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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