We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
