Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
40s are totally the cure
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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