Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
