I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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