It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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