This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
