Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
