it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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