why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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