I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She bit a glass in half.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
