Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
