What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
