There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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