2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
