Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i think my cat just said my name.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
