I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Are we still banned from the library?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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