I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
