They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize