he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
