We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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