i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
