Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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