when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
