I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so let's talk penis.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
