Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
