somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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