I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
